Decrystalized
by shadet06vocaloid
Summary: Miharu is a special little girl that can use all sorts of eye transformations. One day, her family is assassinated, and she is left alone in the world with only the last gift her father gives her and the burden of being blamed. She runs and joins the Akatsuki to hide, but ends up falling in love. OC x Your pick of an Akatsuki member, Read n' Review, peoples!
1. The Beginning

**This will be my second story on Fanfiction. I hope you like it! OC x Akatsuki (your pick)**

**Miharu is a very special girl belongs in a very powerful clan that most likely never existed. But, hey. It's fanfiction, right?**

* * *

_"Father! Mother!" Miharu sobbed as she hugged both of them tightly, ignoring the blood that poured from their chest._

_"Miharu..." Her father started feebly._

_"Father!" She cried, happy that he had not died yet._

_"My dear daughter... I am so sorry. I will go soon. Don't cry," he adds as he sees the tears welling up in her color-changing eyes._

_"But I don't want you to die!" _

_"Don't worry about us. Can I see you use your sharingan?"_

_Her eyes swivel into the red and black pattern of the sharingan. "See father? I can use it." She says proudly despite the pain and fear of losing her parents._

_"Good, your Byakugan?"_

_The red changed into the soft lavender._

_"Very well done! And last but not least, your rinnegan?"_

_Miharu shivered. "I don't know if I have mastered that yet."_

_"Try."_

_The little girl struggled, and her eyes turned a deep purple._

Her_ father smiled. "See? You can do it. Now that you've mastered everything I taught you, I want you to leave."_

_Miharu's eyes returned to normal and widened. "Leave? But, father-"_

_He held up his hand to stop her. "Promise me you will?"_

_"I-"_

_"Miharu, I will die soon anyways. The fire will kill you too if you don't leave!"_

_The tears spilled over. "I would rather sleep under the ashes with you and mother and onii-chan then escape and be scarred!"_

_He sighed. "Promise me, Miharu."_

_"I-I promise."_

_He smiled. "Good. Bring this with you." He took off his necklace that hung around his neck. "It will be my last present, I'm afraid."_

_Miharu swallowed the lump in her throat. "Thank you father, I will miss you."_

_Her father smiled again. "Go before the bounty hunters catch you."_

_"Goodbye father."_

_She turned on her heels and ran out of her burning house, her burning village, vowing to return one day and kill the rogue ninja that ended her peaceful life.  
_

* * *

**T^T **

**Doesn't all of those stories start with tragic beginnings? Oh well. As you can see, she is overly special special. I hope to upload again soon! **

**SeeU soon, ppl!**

**~Shadet **


	2. Lost and Found

**Dundundun! Here's chapter 2!**

**Edit: I've changed a lot of stuff, 'cuz I'd didn't want Miharu to be a Mary Sue (I SERIOUSLY NEED TO IMPROVE!)**

* * *

_4 years later..._

I was running through the forest. How long is this nonsense gonna continue?! I've been minding my own business, trying to find some job to get at least a little money, and they're still after me?! My feet hurt, but I still ran (I have to live, right?!). The voices of the bounty hunters shot through the air.

"Byakugan!" I whisper.

The world reverses color. I could see them behind me, about 300 meters behind me. All of them were wielding swords, shuriken, and kunai knives.

"Wahh!" I was so busy looking behind that I tripped on a stone.

"不要!" I say. Oops. Wrong language. "No!" I say instead.

It was useless. I could hear them closing in on me.

I close my eyes, hoping for the worst.

Itachi P.O.V.

Kisame and I were just minding our own business when we heard: "No!" I frown. The voice sounded like a young teenager girl's. Why would there be a young teenager girl out here in the middle of the night? (Good question, cause I can't answer it).

"Kisame." I say.

He stops walking immediately.

"What's wrong, Itachi-san? Need me to chop up anyone?" He asks as he grips Samehada.

"Not yet, but soon." I reply as I turn and start walking towards the noise.

"Come."

The minute I reach the clearing, a kunai is flung my way. I dodge it easily, and look in the direction of the thrower. My guess earlier was right. It was a little girl about 11 or 12. The only questioning thing about her was the Byakugan. Her black hair was tangled. Why did she look familiar?

"Why are you here?" I ask.

"Are you here to k-kill me?" She stammers as her hand grips another kunai knife.

"I won't harm you," I promise. "What's wrong?"

"B-bounty h-hunters... chasing... k-kill... me?"

I look over. She was right.

"Why don't you stay here, and I deal with them?" I don't know why I was being nice. She was just so small and helpless. Like Sasuke. I looked down when I felt a tug on my sleeve.

"Yes?"

"Can I watch you?" She asks.

I recoil in surprise. "Sure?"

By now the bounty hunters had caught up to us.

"Hey, you in the black," one of them yelled. "Move over 'cos that's our prey!"

"Yeah," another added. "Her head is worth millions and billions!"

I sigh. These brainless idiots were just like Kakuzu.

"You better leave before I get serious."

* * *

**DUNDUNDUN! SORRY IF IT WAS SHORT. I DONT HAVE SO MUCH TIME, YEAH**

**R N' R, PEOPLES!**


	3. Revealed

**Nei, people! I wanna thank the 3 people that favorited this story! Sorry if anyone seems too OOC...  
**

**:D I think we should start now!**

* * *

Itachi P.O.V

Since Kisame and I needed to get back to the hideout really quickly, I used Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique). The fireball took out about 3 quarters of bounty hunters. The rest of them just stared at me in awe, shock, and horror.

"If you want to live, then go and never return to pursue this girl!"

I could tell that they didn't want to cooperate.

"Payback time!" I heard a shout. I turned around to see the little girl weaving hand signs. Wait, was that a... SHARINGAN?!

"Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu!"

The fireball she breathed out was just as big as mine! This one burned them and the clearing to ashes.

"How-?"

The silence hung in the air.

"How do you possess the Sharingan?!" I demand.

She looked scared. "I-it was passed down in my family... I think? I was told that I was extra-special..."

"..." Was she a Uchiha?!

Just then, Kisame burst into the ash-covered circle of trees.

"I cut up the reinforcements the bounty hunters sent!"

Great timing, fish boy, just had to ruin the moment.

"Who is that?" He asked, pointing to the girl.

"Don't know her name." I replied, putting on my hat to cover my face. Kisame looked at her expectantly.

"Well?" He demanded, staring at her eyes.

I sigh. "Don't kill her."

The girl looked at her toes. "U-um, my n-name i-is Miharu..." she stutters.

And of course, Kisame has to bounce in and question everything.

"Miharu? Miharu what? Are you a Uchiha? What does Miharu even mean?"

"U-uh, I think Miharu means 'three springs'... I'm not a Uchiha. I don't know my surname... um... uh..."

How was she not a Uchiha? And what was up with the Byakugan and the Sharingan? Why does her eye color change?

I made up my mind. "Kisame, we are taking her to Leader-sama."

His eyes widened. "Why are we taking her to Leader-sama? She's not worth anything, is she?"

"The deceased bounty hunters said that her head is worth millions of billions of dollars. She can also use the Byakugan, which confuses me greatly."

"..."

"What."

"Kakuzu better not know that."

I roll my eyes. "No, we should be waving welcome flags that say: 'KAKUZU! THIS GIRL'S HEAD IS WORTH SOMEWHERE AROUND 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000 DOLLARS! IT'S A FREE-FOR-ALL!'"

Miharu started shaking. "I-is Kakuzu-san a-also a b-bounty hunter?"

Oh crap. I didn't mean to scare her.

"Um, he is, but we wouldn't tell him about you because you're... extra special?"

"Really? Are you sure you won't tell him? Please?" CAN. NOT. RESIST. SUPER. SPARKLY. SHINY. GLITTERY. CHIBI. EYES.

Kisame flashed a toothy smile. "Positive."

* * *

Normal P.O.V.

The 3 people walked along in the forest in a horizontal line. Miharu was in the middle, with Kisame and Itachi on her left and right. Kisame looked over. She was quiet, fidgety, and her eyes keep changing colors. Spring green. Cobalt. Crimson. Tangerine. Lilac. Primrose. Pearl. Obsidian. Onyx. Silver. Gold. Bronze. The colors were endless. It was like a rainbow was programed into them. Itachi didn't say anything, and Kisame was getting bored. He decided to try and talk to the teeny Miharu instead.

"So, Miharu..."

She jumped a foot before replying.

"Y-yes?" She stammered. Aww, so cute.

"Why are you here, all alone in a forest by yourself, without your parents?"

Miharu stopped walking. Her eyes turned Onyx and stayed that way.

"They're dead."

* * *

**Again, DUNDUNDUN...**

**If anyone has a request for a Naruto boy oneshot, leave it in a review (I'm lazyyyyyyyyyy). I really am typin as fast I am, but I just got a shot in my left arm, and it hurts like hell. **

**Till next time, peoples! :D**


	4. On the Way

**Nei, peoples~ *achoo* argh, sorry. I'm just so sick n' stuff... but anyways, I'm going to be editing the past chapters to make sure Miharu doesn't seem too Mary Sue. I got advice on how to write better, and I'm trying to do so. But nowadays, when I stare at the screen for 10-15 minutes, my eyes burn like I overused the Mangekyō Sharingan or something or another... and the OOC may occur during reading, so be prepared if Itachi-san starts ballet dancing in his PJ's (btw that would never happen :D)**

**ANYWAYS, LETS START!**

* * *

"They're dead."

Kisame stared and Itachi stopped walking.

"Why?" Kisame continued.

"A bunch of people killed them." Miharu mumbled, now a little bit more confident without the bounty hunters trying to kill her.

"Who?" Kisame asked as he readjusted Samehada's strap nervously.

**A/N: KISAMEEEE... **

**Kisame: What..?**

**DID YOU KILL THEM!?**

**Kisame: uh... NO!**

**GOOD.**

"Uh, a group of rouge ninja?"

Itachi sighed in relief. "Good. I thought Kisame killed them."

Miharu gasped. "What!?"

"Kisame has a bad habit of killing all normal people he sees."

That caused Miharu to walk behind Itachi to get away from Kisame.

"Don't kill me!"

Kisame waved his hands rapidly in front of him. "I won't kill you, I promise!"

She peeked out from behind Itachi. "Really?"

Kisame nods. "Yeah! I won't kill anyone Itachi orders me not to... most of the time..."

"Most of the time?" Itachi said with a raised eyebrow.

"Er..."

Miharu smiled and giggled a little. Kisame was still sorta curious, so he continued asking questions.

"How old are you?"

"12 years old." She said, kicking a rock in front of her.

"12?! What weapon do you fight with? Do you even have a weapon with you?"

Miharu scoffed. "Yes, I am waving a weapon in front of your face!"

Kisame sweatdropped. "Oh great, another Itachi."

Itachi made to punch Kisame, but almost punched Miharu on accident.

"ARGHHHH WTF ITCHI IS TRYING TO KILL ME!" She yelled and ran behind Kisame **(wtf Miharu, bipolar much?)**

Itachi sighed. "It's Itachi, not Itchi!" _Oh, boy. She sounds like little Sasuke now..._

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU TRY TO PUNCH PEOPLE WITHOUT WARNING THEM!" She screamed as she tried to avoid crashing into Samehada.

"Well, if I told an enemy that I was going to punch them, would I actually get to punch them without them turning around and dodging my fist?"

"Well, at least warn me before punching me!"

...

* * *

ANNNNNDDDD THERE'S CHAPTER 4! XD

Hope you liked it!


	5. Trouble already?

**ARGHHHH... I'VE BEEN SO DEPRESSED... I'M NOT A MACHINE THAN CAN SPIT OUT STORIES, SO PLEASE BE PATIENT AND WAIT FOR THE CHAPTERS... **

**And again, sorry for the OOC-ness, and Naruto or the Akatsuki does not belong to meeee... **

**(sorry, I'm really hyper)**

* * *

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we-"

"ALMOST!" Kisame yelled, annoyed with Itachi's constant "No" 's.

Miharu wasn't the most talkative, but she was kinda fun to have around (considering you like to hear about blood, dead people, revenge, colors, and painting in great detail).

Later on, Kisame saw her pull an apple from nowhere and started munching on it.

"Where did you get that?!"

"From my pack, duh." Miharu did have tiny pack with her (it was dark, and it was hard see it).

Itachi stared at the pack. "What's in it?"

"Hmm... I think I have some extra kunai and shuriken, a teeny tiny bit of food, some scrolls I borrowed that hold my things, a hand-made medical kit, and yeah. It's pretty much it."

"..."

"What? You thought I hid a katana in here to kill you later with?"

* * *

When the trio reached the border into the base, Itachi stopped Miharu.

"You need to be blindfolded."

Miharu stubbornly stepped away. "Why?"

"The location of the base is secret until you become a member."

"Nu!" Miharu turned away. "I can be trusted!... sort of."

Kisame raised his eyebrow. "Sort of? Are you saying that you can't be trusted?"

"Shut up, you blue piece of sushi."

"WHAT?! WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!"

Miharu chose that moment to nip around Itachi and fly up into a tree.

"Bleeaaahhhhhhh... You can't get me from here..." She says and sticks her tongue out.

Kisame unstrapped Samehada and waved it around, trying to hit the branch she was sitting on.

"Get down from there!"

"NUUU~!" Miharu sing-songed as she hopped from branch to branch, mocking Kisame.

"GET DOWN FROM THERE BEFORE I GET SERIOUS!" (does that ring a bell?)

"你是一块蓝色的寿司~" Miharu yelled in chinese at him.

"Wha-?" that caused Kisame to stop. "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!" He made to try and chop the tree down, but Itachi put a hand in front of him.

"Relax, Kisame. She called you a piece of blue sushi. Now, can you come down and cooperate?"

Miharu bounced down, and threw a caterpillar at Kisame.

"ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET IT OFF OF MY FACE!"

Itachi sighed. This was getting really troublesome. "Kisame, deal with the caterpillar without yelling and screaming. Miharu, put the blindfold on."

"Ok~" Miharu sang as she skipped around the still screaming Kisame, but she still put it on obediently. "Now what?" She asked as she felt around.

"Now, you grab my hand and we'll lead you in."

**_Itachi P.O_**

As we marched her into the border, we ran into Kakuzu who was going to the doughnut shop (for reasons unknown XD).

"Who's that?" He asked after greeting us."

"A bitch who threw a caterpillar at my face." A pissed off Kisame responded.

"Hey!" Miharu protested. "I'll beat you up even with this blindfold on!"

I roll my eyes. "Kakuzu, this is Miharu. Kisame, shut up. It was a caterpillar. Deal with it."

Kakuzu's gleamed. "Miharu? Miharu as in the one with a bounty on her head?"

I sweatdrop. Miharu had frozen just as she heard this. She took 3 steps back.

"Stay away- Don't even think-"

Kakuzu didn't listen at all.

Oh, well, I tried.

* * *

**Ha ha ha! A cliffy! I've starting trying to make the chapters longer, but I don't have much time...**

**Good job, Itachi, you tried XD**

**Till next time, peoples!**


	6. OMAKE SPECIAL!

**Nei~**

**This just an Omake that I did `cos I was bored. The conversation is with a friend called Kasai no Oni, (who is the best!), and it happened before Chapter 5...**

**this is a crackfic, and I wanted to thank her anyways.**

~'*talking about chapter 5 and uploading it*'~

Kasai no Oni: Cool cool I can't wait-!

Me: :D  
WORKIN HARD!

btw, Miharu just called Kisame a blue piece of sushi :D

Kasai no Oni: Lol I wonder if I licked him...if he would taste like fish...

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAH! LOLOLOL!

Kasai no Oni: He probably would... :D

Me: I'LL GET THE WASABI!  
Kisame: NOOOO DON'T EAT ME! XP  
Me: YUMYUMYUM

Kasai no Oni: Yes eat him all up...MMMMMMMMMUUUUUHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

Me: Kisame: NUUUUU T^T  
Itachi: whas goin on (in his pj's XD)  
Me: HAHAHAHAHHA ITACHI NICE PJ'S WITH HETALIA ON THEM LOLOLOL  
Itachi: *glare*

Kasai no Oni: Lol OMG o_0...I could totally see that...

Me: WAHAHHAHAHAHA *choke* *gasp* *dies*  
Itachi: ... *takes out a stick and pokes me*  
Deidara: NOOO YOU DIDN'T EVEN FINISH MY OS YET! T^T

Kasai no Oni: Lol yes revive her the slave isn't done yet!

Me: Kisame: Oh, um... KABUTO! *yanks Kabuto from out of nowhere*  
Kabuto: WTF?

Kasai no Oni: Ewwwwwwwwwwwww...Kabuto that little...little little ***!

Me: Kisame: IKR, but he's the only one that can revive her!"  
Kabuto: Why should I?!  
Itachi: Because if you don't, you will be sent to witness a Jashin ritual!  
Kabuto: OK OK FINE FINE! REVIVE NO JUTSU! THERE! DONE!

* * *

**:D**

**I can see the glares, my readers! Should I continue this? Maybe not... it's just us bein evil~**

**Starting Chapter 6 now~**


	7. Meeting the Weird desk guy

**Nei, peoples! Thank you for your reviews, and I hope that I will have improved! **

**Recently, I've discovered HETALIA! *squeezes Wang Yao mochi plush* AND I LOVE IT! (notice that already?)**

**You know what? Let's just start!**

* * *

Miharu P.O.V (even if she can't see right now)

OH NO. KAKUZU!? IS HE THAT CREEPY S.O.B THAT IS OBSESSED WITH MONEY?! I THOUGHT THAT HE WAS OUT OF THE WAY!

_Ok, ok. _I thought while I got in a fighting stance. _I can fight pretty well, even if I was in a blindfold... I think..._

"Wait, wait, wait!" Itachi's voice cut through the tension. "Miharu, please don't start..."

"LIKE I GIVE A CRAP!" I scream as I charge towards Kakuzu's voice (or where it should be). My fist missed him by a millimeter.

"WTF?!" He yelled, and I felt something wrap around my arms. "ITACHI, EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOING ON?!"

"Urgh." Came his voice. "Kakuzu, don't kill her. Leader-sama might find a use for her."

The things lowered me down.

"For now, just keep off of her. Don't kill her."

"Why?!"

"She has skill and potential."

* * *

When we walked into the door-thing, someone took off the blindfold. I took a good look around. Stone walls. A tiny hallway. Nothing special.

"Why is this place so dim?"

Kisame looked over. "You are in the great Akatsuki base, and you ask why it's so dim?"

Itachi shook his head. "Kisame, take her to leader-sama." Then he walked away saying something like, "this day was horrible..."

Good idea, Itachi. Leave this friggin' piece of blue sushi to babysit me.

"Well?" I ask.

He looked at me distastefully. "I would feed you to Zetsu, but Itachi told me to take you to Leader-sama."

Kisame lead me down the hallway. As we pasted some doors, I could see lettering on the front of them. I read them out loud as I saw a new one.

"Deidara... Sasori... Konan..."

Just after Konan's door, there was a sort of office.

"Here we are." Kisame said. He knocked really quickly.

"Come in." Came a deep voice.

Kisame ushered me inside, and we sat down on one of the chairs in front of the desks. I could see a person sitting at the desk, and there was another person standing next to the first one.

"Leader-sama, this is Miharu. She was found by Itachi, and he believes she has potential." Kisame said lamely.

The person behind came forward. She had blue hair that was twisted up into a bun with a white flower decoration pinned to it.

"Potential? What do you mean by potential?" She asked.

"Urm..." Kisame hadn't seen me fight, so he doesn't know what to say (mwahaha!). Just then, Itachi came in.

"Miharu can use the Byakugan and the Sharingan-"

"And the Rinnegan, but I don't like using it." I add in.

"What?" Everyone stared at me.

"What, what? Did you hear me, or are you guys deaf?" I mused as I picked at a scar on my arm.

"You mean that you can use all 3 dojutsu?" The weird desk guy (that's what I'm calling him) asked sharply.

"Um, yeah." Poke. Poke.

"And you have a complete mastery of all 3?" Vein twitch.

"Mphmm..." Scratch. Poke.

"Who are your 6 paths?" Eye twitch.

"I dunno... I'd never actually used the Rinnegan to kill people, I only show it to people that I trust, and oh," I paused. "Did I mention? None of them are you."

Weird desk guy's eyes narrowed and Blue hair flower girl gasped.

"Itachi and Kisame here rescued you, and this is how you respond!?" She said angrily, and did some rather rude gestures with her hand.

I shrug. "Why should I trust you guys when there's a crazy bounty hunter here that wants to rip off my head and use it as a bowl?"

Blue hair flower girl went silent. "Kakuzu can be taken care of."

Itachi just stood there looking at me like I had grown a 3 arm. "Why don't we just let her stay for now, and then test her powers later."

Weird desk guy sighed.

"Fine. Itachi, take her to the spare room. Make sure that Hidan doesn't try to rape her."

* * *

**Tada~ *tries to eat an America mochi* there's chapter 6. =.= how was it? REVIEWS, PLEASE!**


	8. Annoying Itachi and Deidara

**HAI! *flips and bounces around in a circle* I'M SOOO BORED WITHOUT PEOPLE TALKING TO MEEEE... **

**Anyways, Miharu says hi to all of those wonderful people that review'd this story!**

**Miharu: I do?**

**Yes, you do.**

**Miharu: Why?!**

**Because it is thy story, and thy wrote so :D**

**Miharu: pfft... a load of rubbish...**

**NOTHIN BELONGS TO MEHHHH (except Miharu)**

* * *

Miharu P.O.V.

"DISH IS SO BORING!" I yelled at the top of my lungs (for the 1,000,000th time). Itachi opened the door, and I started laughing hysterically when I saw him.

"Will you stop yelling in the middle of the night? And why are you laughing?"

"HAHAHAH *wheeze* HAHAHAHA *cough* WAHAHAHAHAHA *choke* HAHAHAHAHA..."

At this point, I was rofl, and poor Itachi just stood in the doorway looking at me.

"For the second time, what is it?!"

"HAHAHAHAHA! LOLOLOL NICE PJ'S! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *choke* *choke* *gasp* HAHAHAHA- HELP- HAAHAHAHHAHAHAHA *gasp* HAHAHAHA- ME- HAHAHAHAHA *choke*."

Itachi looked down and realized that he was wearing Sasuke pajamas (XD I'm feeling like it).

"..."

"OMG *gasp* GASP *dies*."

"OH MY GOD LEADER-SAMA MIHARU JUST DIED FROM LACK OF AIR!" Itachi screamed and ran out the door, and Tobi woke up and ripped off my head and used it as a watering can and watered Zetsu's magical rainbows that made magical ice cream that ate your face.

...

...

...

Yeah, right.

* * *

**Ok, this is what really happened:**

"HAHAHAHAHA! LOLOLOL NICE PJ'S! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *choke* *choke* *gasp* HAHAHAHA- HELP- HAAHAHAHHAHAHAHA *gasp* HAHAHAHA- ME- HAHAHAHAHA *choke*."

Itachi looked down and realized that he was wearing Sasuke pajamas.

"..."

"HAHAHAHHA *choke* HACK HACK HACK HACK HACK-"

And now, I was still rofl, but also, I was choking to death due to lack of air. Even so, it felt nice (to laugh, not to be dieing), probably because I haven't laughed in ages. Itachi just rolled his eyes.

"Do you need me to perform CPR on you?"

That made me stop.

"EWWWWWW NOOOO YOU PERV."

More eye rolling. "Why do you make such a big deal out of everything?"

"Why are you wearing Sasuke Pj's?"

"What's wrong with them?!" He said hotly, then marched out the door and slammed it in my face.

Dang. Just had to ruin the fun.

* * *

When I woke up, it was around 5:10 am, and HOORAY, NOBODY WAS UP THIS EARLY! Having nothing to do, I decided to just lay down on the floor and roll around like there was no tomorrow (hey, it's fun! Try it yourself sometime).

I was probably there for 30 minutes, but the door opened and Blue Hair Flower Girl came in with another girl with long blonde hair and a fringe.

Ah, well. Who gives a fuck? I just shrugged and continued to roll around like they didn't come in.

Blonde Fringe looked at me when I accidentally *cough* on purpose *cough* rolled into her.

"Oops, sorry miss." I say before rolling away.

"OH COME ON IS IT THAT HARD FOR ANYONE TO NOTICE I'M A MAN, UN!?" She (he?) screamed in frustration and proceed to choke me to death with the mouths on her (his?) hands.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS PERSON IS TRYING TO RAPE ME!" I screamed in my loudest scream that I've ever screamed in my entire life.

"Deidara, stop that!" Blue Hair Flower Girl said and dragged Blonde Fringe (or Deidara) away from me.

"OMFG THAT GUY- or a girl?" I pause, confused at the gender-mixed-up-ness.

Blue Hair Flower Girl rolled her eyes at me. "HIS name is Deidara, and he's a guy." She turned around to face him. "I told you to cut your hair, but you don't listen at all!"

"I love my hair too much to actually do that, un."

"But just the fact that you look like a girl-!"

I get up. "UM, HI?!" The both of them stop and look at me.

"Err... I... uh, never caught what you name was..." I say to Blue Hair Flower Girl.

"Oh, I'm sorry. My name is Konan." She says.

"Um, good morning, Konan and Deidara." I say after thinking about whether I should kick Deidara in the place or not.

Deidara didn't do anything. He just breathed heavily through his nose and left.

Konan was really nice, and she gave me a new set of clothes to wear (that were in a MUCH better condition than I was used to), and ordered some other guy to give me a tour of this place before breakfast.

"OK, who will it be?" I ask after pulling on the comfy black with red clouds t-shirt.

"His name is Zetsu, and I'll give you some advice about him before you go."

"Zetsu?" I tried the name out. "What advice?"

"1. He has a split personality.

2. He has a, er, venus fly trap around him, so be careful not to get eaten.

3. He tends to blend into the earth, so don't be surprised if he suddenly disappears ."

I shrug. "Meh. In short, my tour guide is some random cannibal that's bipolar?"

Konan smiles. "You have bad judgement, don't you."

"Yep!"

"Alright then, meet him outside your room, and oh," Konana stopped me before I opened the door. "Watch out for Hidan."

"Hidan? You can't be talking about that loudmouth zombie that wants to rape other people and then stab them to death with some bloody weapon?"

"... I see Itachi & Kisame has warned you well."

"Yep." I say again and skip out the door.

* * *

***Sigh* I feel like I'm on crack these days... Ah well! Since I feel like it, every few chapters, I'll do some omake to make myself feel better about all the stuff crushing me to pieces here...**

**1. I have to draw a request picture**

**2. I need to update my other story**

**3. I REALLY want to buy an Akatsuki cloak for 22$, but I'm broke T^T**

**4. ARGHHHH THE STRESS OF KNOWING THAT YOU WILL GO TO SEVENTH GRADE!**

**5. ARGHHHH THE STRESS OF DOING HOMEWORK AND TYPING HERE AT THE SAME TIME!**

**So, yeah. BYE BYE BYE! :D **


	9. Meeting everyone else

**Hai! *noms a cookie* I'm so sorry i havent been updating lately, BUT I've been really happy/excited/hyper lately! Must be the sugar... ANYHOO that means I have lots of energy to type! So let's get started!**

* * *

Miharu opened the door and stepped out. She looked around to find Zetsu, but saw that he wasn't here.

"Oi, Zetsu!" She yelled into the hallway.

"Is this the girl we will be showing around? **Do you see anyone else here? **No, but she might've been a decoy set up by Konan! **Why would that ever happen?"**

Miharu stared at Zetsu. "Are you that bipolar plant?" She asked.

"**No, I'm Hidan." **

That caused Miharu to scream: "OH MY FUCKING GOD NOT YOU YOU CREEPY S.O.B. THAT WANTS TO RAPE ME AND USE ME AS A STABBING DOLL NOOO I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE I STILL HAVE LOTS OF STUFF I NEED/WANT TO DO LIKE BLOW UP YOUR HEAD AND USE IT A COOKIE BATTER AND THEN FEED THEM TO NEKOMI!"

"Nekomi? **Who da hell is that?**"

Miharu is now running in circles around Zetsu, still screaming her head off.

"MY SUMMONING ANIMAL!"

"... We are not Hidan. **We are Zetsu. I was kidding. **And good job calling Hidan a S.O.B."

"WHY?!"

"**He'll get you for that. **Anyways, let's show you around this base."

* * *

Miharu P.O.V.

WOW! I never thought that this one base could be so HUGE! Zetsu lead me through all 37 hallways, 254 doors, 68 secret passages (and counting), 7 kitchens, 28 bathrooms, and 16 bedrooms.

"Wow!" I say for the tenth time as we wonder into the main kitchen.

"You are easily amazed, no? **Ah, well. Breakfast time."**

When we walked in, all of the members turned around to stare at us.

* * *

**SPECIAL INSERT!**

Here's the Akatsuki's cast, MIHARU STYLE!

* * *

I looked around, and saw:

a emotionless redhead with an ice cream bowl upturned on his head, and he was...

screaming at some idiot with an orange lollipop mask, and he was...

yelling: "TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" while Deidara was...

running after him with a red scythe that apparently belonged to...

some silver haired douchebag that was swearing like there was no tommorrow, and he was...

being watched by Kakuzu (THAT CREEPY S.O.B.!), who was shaking his head at...

Kisame, who was trying to force this huge bandage wrapped sword into the sink to wash it, and he was dared to do so by...

Itachi (finally someone with some sanity!), who was talking to Weird Desk Guy...

who was eating pancakes with Konan.

And, she chose that moment to say really loudly, "hey, Zetsu, Miharu! How was the tour?"

_AND_, that caused everybody to stop and stare at me. _Great going, Konan,_ I thought. I'm horrible with people and relationships...

"This is the new girl?" asked the redhead.

"New girl or not, she called me a girl, un! And she might call you something offensive!"

"Well you could just cut your ridiculously long hair..."

"Argh, not you too, Danna, un!"

I just stood there. Great. Deidara is added to my 'OMG I HATE MIHARU' list.

"What's your name?" I asked the red haired person.

"Sasori."

"... Is that it?"

"Yes."

Because of his lack of talking skills, (Sasori: I do have talking skills!) I wandered over to Konan instead.

"Hai Konan-san... we're back." I say, bored out of my mind.

She smiles and offers me a glass of orange juice (OH MY GOSH ORANGE JUICE XD). "How was the tour?"

"Oh, you know, it was fine, we ran around the base, Zetsu melted through the walls and I spent 30 minutes trying to find him... And then we got held up in the bathroom because that orange mask guy was screaming about how brownies are made of unicorns, and then Zetsu tried to eat me, but other than that, it was fine." I reply with a smile.

Konan stared. "Rough tour, huh."

"Yea~" I say and take a sip of the orange juice (GODDAMN ORANGE JUICE! *:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*).

Weird desk guy stood up.

"As everyone can see, we have a guest." He said.

"'Sup people." I say nonchalantly.

"She is awaiting approval to be a member." He continued.

"Wait, I am?" I ask, confused.

Konan smiled and said, "yes, you are!"

I didn't say anything, except look around and point at Kakuzu.

"Does my room HAVE to be next to his?!" I say with mock anger.

Hidan rolls his eyes. "Do you have to be so fucking loud?"

"Yes, yes I do!" I shot back, pissed at this loudmouth.

"Oi, you shouldn't-" befor Hidan can continue, I threw my fork at his face.

"AH FUCK YOU THAT FUCKING HURT YOU FUCKINH BITCH!"

* * *

I wont be updating much... Hiatus... Sorry, but im going to seventh grade, and the HW is really hard... Sorry...


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